The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman has become very popular and I think it’s for good reason. Every relationship goes through a learning period of figuring out what makes your partner feel the most loved. More often than not, your partner feels love in a different way than you do. After my husband and I read the book, and took the quiz we learned to adjust our behaviors to better match the other persons love language. I know not everyone loves balloons and chocolate on Valentine’s Day so I thought I’d put together a list of ideas for each of the different languages!
Acts of service
This one is pretty self explanatory. Do the dishes and vacuum the house. If your spouse is often complaining about having a hard time coming up with dinners each night, cook him or her a dinner. Find a chore or mundane activity that needs to be done and do it! I have personally loved when my husband sneakily does things like comes home on his lunch break to vacuum or picks up the kitchen after I’ve gone to bed. This may sound strange, but my husband really enjoys showing love this way, so for his birthday I got him a carpet shampooer. This one was inexpensive but is seriously impressive! I know most people may not find that exciting, but he seriously loved it because he felt like he could contribute even more around the house.
This is actually my main love language and I often feel guilty that “things” make me feel loved. But it’s not about the things! It’s fun to receive a gift that you know someone has put some thought into. If you have access to their Amazon shopping cart or maybe their internet browsing history, get on and buy something they’ve been eying. You can also put together a gift of some of their favorite things. Perhaps a movie you both enjoyed with their favorite candy and a nice note. Receiving notes is still receiving a gift! You don’t need to spend money to give gifts. Even picking flowers from your own yard and putting them in a vase would be a nice gesture. You can see my gifts for men and gifts for women posts (under $20!) for specific ideas if you need some more ideas!
Words of affirmation
This one can be a little unintuitive to someone who does not require much verbal validation. I created a little printable for you that you could print out and put on his or her nightstand in a little frame (click the image below to download). Another good way to share words of affirmation is a simple note telling the person what they mean to you. Sometimes it is hard to vocalize how you feel, so writing it down can help you get your words out. I keep a pack of note cards around my house to write quick love letters on. Plus, then he or she can keep it and reread it if they’re feeling down!
I formatted this in a square so you can use it in this frame (that I feel like I’m constantly talking about because it’s such a good deal and so pretty!) I think it would look really pretty in this frame too if you’re not feeling the metallic look.
From what I understand, this is one of the most common love languages. Scheduling a movie with designated, uninterrupted cuddle time might really make your partner’s whole year. If you want to give a gift that keeps on giving, you can look up couples massage classes in your area. This is a great way to get out of the house and also learn a new skill that would make your partner happy indefinitely. Massage oil could be an easy thing to gift to your significant other as a way of telling them you’d be happy to give them a massage. This massage oil is also what you use to create essential oils blends so you could so easily create a blend to mix this with his or her favorite scents. My current favorite essential oil starter kit is awesome because it’s pretty inexpensive but the quality of oils is high.
Plan a date night where you can genuinely converse with each other. Go to dinner to a quiet sit down restaurant and promise to keep the phones off. You could also plan a hike or maybe a round of golf. Think of an activity that allows for a lot of genuine one on one conversation and time. Going to see a movie doesn’t always feel like “quality time” but watching a movie at home could be really fun with your favorite candy. My husband and I personally love peachios (5 pounds of peachios might help us make it to next Valentine’s day) and our current favorite movie is ‘What We Do in the Shadows’. This is a really funny chill movie that you can laugh through together and enjoy each other’s company. It’s a mocumentary about vampires and for whatever reason, I think it’s the best movie ever.
Another thing my husband really loves is to play video games together. Age of Empires 2 is a simple game people who love gaming and people don’t love gaming can both enjoy. It’s kind of old school, but that’s part of what makes it fun.
Hopefully this sparked some ideas for you! I always want to give what I would like to receive and am still surprised when it’s not what my husband really wanted. I think giving “gifts” relating to how they feel love could go a long way. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Roseann Hampton says
My husband and I read this book years ago. His love language is quality time – thanks for the great ideas!